My confession...

I officially 'resigned' from my job as an RN at Nationwide Children's Hospital.  Sigh;)  A couple of months ago when I spoke to my manager about the job I said to her, "you'd have to be crazy to not do this job. it's just perfect!"  Well. Foot in mouth.. I guess I'm crazy.

So here come my rationalizations.. er.. list of reasons..  Joel and I are in a weird place right now in life.  It seems as though all of a sudden time is more valuable than money.  This is a hard concept for me to get used to but honestly, its true.  In this situation, 1 16 hour day a month would give us a substantial cushion in our checking account.  but it would also pull away me from the kids, from getting any work done around the house or for the ministry, and it would also take away the opportunity for Joel to get any work done that day at all as well.  (Joel is unable to get anything done at all when having both kids for a full day. I can usually get 1-3 things done.)  I am already falling behind drastically on my ministry responsibilities.  I just realized the other day that I only have 4 free hours a day to accomplish what I need to accomplish.  I have started to keep track of those 4 hours in order to be a better steward of my time.

Here's how I spent my 4 hours yesterday -

1pm - 3pm nap during kids naps (we stayed up until midnight the night before doing taxes and I felt like if I did not nap I would be snapping at Joel for silly things by dinner time)

8pm - 10pm 10 min shower, 20 mins cleaning up house to an acceptable standard (being able to walk from 1 room to another) 1 hour eating dinner while reading chapter 3 of Joel's book and commenting, 20 mins phone conversation with Joel, 30 mins plugging in support data for ministry, 15 mins surfing web about starting solids and skin related issues in babies (Judah having rashes like Joel did at this age)

yeah it doesn't add up, I went to bed late.

Yeah, so I know everyone is busy.  We are just finding ourselves at the height of a lack of free time and that is forcing us to look at our priorities and cut what is not a priority.  Working at the hospital just isn't right now for us.  Also, then there are the added variables of the stress involved the day before and day of for me .. it's not as enjoyable when I seriously don't know what I'm doing because I work so infrequently.

Another manager of mine spoke to me about the decision and the family.  She agreed with me that at the rate things are changing at the hospital it is very hard to keep up with only doing 2 shifts a month, she admitted that sometimes she doesn't even feel totally comfortable working only once a week.  She also let me know that if things ease up a bit I can be rehired at NCH within the next 3 years without having to go through full days of hospital orientation and paperwork.  That conversation was comforting.

Would I like the extra money? Of course. Would I love the cultural admiration and value (from others) that is placed on being a pediatric nurse? Big time.

This is a great reminder for me.  I need to find my significance in Christ.  My fulfillment is in Him.  Teaching my sons according to His word glorifies Him.  Serving and submitting to my husband glorifies Him.

Making more money really only glorifies myself.

Plus, I know my husband is a man of the Word. He will provide for the family (1 tim 5:8) and I trust that the Lord will provide.